Happy Birthmas Jared!

Happy birthmas to you!

Merry birthmas to you!

Happy birthmas to Jared!

Merry birthday to you!

Congrats Jared, you’re now one year closer to death! ❤

Everyone, give Jared birthday wishes! 🙂

Anyways, Jared you’re a wonderful person and I can’t imagine how I’d be here today without you. ❤ Thank you for everything, and I’m sorry for all of those times I’ve been a bitch to you, yet you still want to be with me! I hope you get your phone soon! (A GOOD one that won’t break.)

also sorry i don’t have a gift i’ve been busy with school i’ll draw for you later and i’ll give you 10 bucks mmkay

xoxoxoxoxoxo plethora of love, annathearsonist

 

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19 thoughts on “Happy Birthmas Jared!

  1. ONE YEAR CLOSER TO DEATH!
    That reminds me that birthday parties are kind of demonic…
    Everyone sings a repetitive happy birthday song to the person who is nearing their inevitable death. They bring them an edible article with many flames on top of it, usually of the number the person is turning in age. Then they cut in it with a knife, pass it out to everyone, and eat it. THEY EAT THE FLIPPIN BURNING CAKE
    Sometimes they play games that involve “pinning a tail on a donkey,” which is somewhat violent and unorthodox
    They may also have decorations – rubber elastics filled with helium, a toxic gas in mass amounts
    Some people wear cone-shaped hats for birthdays which resembles a dunce in schools
    And worst of all are the goody bags
    They can contain coloring books and puzzles
    COLORING BOOKS
    AND PUZZLES
    FILLED WITH HUNDREDS OF MAZES
    AND TIC-TAC-TOE GRIDS
    yet everyone relishes in the demonic routine we call the anniversary of someone’s birth
    born to die
    jk jk
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARED

    Liked by 4 people

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