Judging Male Pokemon Protagonists

First, I know I said we would reveal the awards tomorrow, but unfortunately I was feeling ill. So was Nunnally, and she had to do her English homework. Right now I still feel ill. Most of this post was created yesterday, so yeah.

Second, I came to realise how most of you guys only care about Fantage (that’s where you guys came from), and no one will care about this at all. In fact, as always you’ll probably like and move on with life. Too bad, I’m making a post out of boredom to judge boys from Pokemon. 🙂

Did you know I used to be a huge Pokemon Fan? If you’ve successfully stalked me, you’d know this.

man the content on this blog really sucks.

K TIME TO JUDGE DEM CARTOON BOYZ AM I RIGHT OR AM I WRITE!? I’M JUDGING THEM BY LOOKS LIKE THE TYPICAL FEMALE I AM

Also I will judge the boys from the GAMES, not the manga or the show. If you guys really want me to judge them, I can if you’d like (but who is reading this post anyways besides my close friends, lol)

Boy 1: Red (Red/Blue/Green)

0/10 would bang. He’s short, he has weird eyes, weird pointy chin, triangle nose, weirdly pointed feet, and oh my that anatomy is bad. Please go visit a doctor, I think your entire body needs to be checked.

Fanart makes him look hot though. *insert fanart here* Well, tbh I’m kinda into yandere/yangires now, and so I don’t find him nice looking at all. In fact, I only enjoy adorable looking males, like Ivan Braginsky.

Random fact: I used to be a Red fangirl. i’m so out of that phase though lol

Boy 2: Ethan (Gold/Silver/Crystal)

what is with these guys and their small as heck necks and their hexagonal heads like bro please go get checked with a doctor that is extremely unhealthy, 0/10 would bang again

Boy 3: Brendan (Ruby/Sapphire)

stop hiding your hair with your beanie, you look hideous like jeez you still have that small neck and hexagonal face what is with these males and their faces please get checked

Boy 3.5: Brendan (Emerald)

Oh my god, they finally have proper body positions. Take off your hideous hat and you’d look fine, man. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Boy 1.5 Red (don’t question the amazing order, FireRed/LeafGreen):

you look better than the original, but the fanart of you makes you look less hot.  also you’d look much better with black hair and not sticking to the side. :^)

Boy 4: Lucas (Diamond/Pearl)

eh… you remind me of those boys riding bikes and delivering newspapers. it’s that hat, man.

Boy 4.5: Lucas (Platinum)

you legit look gay man. i can imagine you as a uke, receiving it from barry. brb using you for my yaoi fanfics

mwAHAHAHAA 

Boy 2.5: Ethan (Heart Gold/Soul Silver)

You could seriously pass for a girl. I thought you were a girl at first. But I don’t know who to ship you with for my yaoi material. 😦

You could pass with nice jailbait though! 🙂

how i feel about this:

Boy 5: Hilbert (Black/White)

You remind me of Boy 1.5. Except that your hair is even messier, and your vest thing is blue, not red. Your pants are gray, not blue. Other than that, you two are way too similar. You see, I’d say I’d bang you, but you seem like yaoi material. :^^^) (gunna ship you with N)

Boy 6: Nate (Black2/White2)

hhOOLLLLYLY CRAP THE ART STYLE IS G O R G E O U S

What is up with that hair and pose? Looks like you’re telling people to seduce you. :^)

But seriously, seeing you gives me terrible memories, so -1000000/10 would bang.

Boy 7: Calem (X/Y)

wtf happened to the art style 😡

you honestly look like those little rich boys who leech onto their parent’s back account and get whatever you desire, i probs think this because you’re from france

Boy 3.75 Brendan (Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire)

brendy what happened to you

where is your black hair and why are your eyes blue and why are you tan now

you look so DIFFERENT I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU DIDN’T WEAR THAT WHITE BEANIE

also YOUR CONTEST OUTFIT LOOKS SOOOOOOOOO WEIRD WTF

YOU’RE NOT A STAR AND WHY ARE TWO STRANDS OF HAIR BLONDE AND RED


 

ALRIGHT I AM FINISHED JUDGING SO TIME FOR THE AWARDS!!!1!!!ONE!!!1!!

gayest male award: boy 4.5

best jail bait award: boy 2.5

overrated award: boy 1

most likely to bang: boy 3.5

least likely to bang: boy 6

they’re better than their manga counterpart award: all boy 3

their manga counterpart is better award: all boy 1

the non white boy award: boy 3.75

guy with the weirdest hair award: boy 6

yeah that’s all of the awards i can think of

good day everyone hope you enjoyed scrolling past this post and clicking that like button!!!!!!

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45 thoughts on “Judging Male Pokemon Protagonists

      • Almost every character looks like that :O
        And can I just say that Red looks a lot like Mr.Ketchup (Ash) because dayum they must be twins ;A; Or Ash is an old grandpa who is secretly a Pokemon just to look like he is still 10 years old.
        //Idk what I’m saying//
        Do you still play Pokemon?

        Like

      • well you see
        today i played a little because i still need to complete omega ruby lol
        It’s sad that there’s no battle frontier, it was my favourite part of Gen 3.
        Also, Boy 1 doesn’t have those weird lines, but I see where you’re coming from. Boy 1.5 definitely does not look like Ash at all, though.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. (srry rlly random comment honestly you can just remove this after you’ve seen it)
    your commissions done if you haven’t seen it yet :’ )
    just letting you know

    Like

  2. Pingback: One-Shot : Anna. Too Smart For Y’all | Yuki's Dreams

  3. I always play as the girl, but out of the guy protagonists, I like Hilbert/Touya’s appearance best. 😛
    I ALSO HATE HOW BRENDAN AND MAY LOOK
    SO
    MUCH
    THIS IS PRETTY MUCH WHY I NEVER FINISHED ORAS
    BECAUSE OF CRAPPY HAIR
    -_________________-

    Like

      • tbh i wouldn’t really be fond of character customization, unless you could change into outfits from the previous hoenn games, or some more outfits where you can still look at the character and say, “yep, that’s brendan/may.”
        i hated how there’s no batter frontier, that was my favourite

        Like

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