Something That Has Been Bothering Me

This thing lost all of my motivation to really do anything now. By the way, I’m going to begin drawing again for you guys once my motivation for anything increases.

Oh, by the way I’m going to dump little parts of my life right here now.

So around last week I went back to school shopping, and I saw a group of people who were in my grade eight class who were going to the same high school as I was. They said “hi” to me, I said “hi” back. They then laughed at me. I don’t really understand why they laughed at me, was I not supposed to say anything? Am I supposed to continue the conversation? I don’t know. Anyways, for that week before the grade 9 orientation I kept on thinking to myself, “what is wrong with me?” Seriously though, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Sure, in real life I might seem to be anti social and hate to be bothered, but I’m pretty sure everyone has seen my caring side to my friends. Is it because I’m really short? Is it because I’m ugly? (Note: I don’t really do anything to make myself pretty. I mean, I could but I prefer to be comfortable than wear a mask.) Is it because I’m a really weird person who shares extremely different interests with everyone?

I should have went to another high school where my two friends are going to. Literally though, I applied at the high school literally before the winter break. At that time, those people wanted to go to another high school. Suddenly everyone besides my friends wanted to go to the high school I’ve applied to, like what!?

And then the grade 9 orientation, the longest two hours of my life. I saw people who I knew from my school. We all had to be seated. I was going for a seat near their direction, and those people gave me a stare that meant, “don’t sit near us.” I noticed a lot of people were in groups already, and I was just on my own. Even after the orientation, I had no friends at the end. I’ve tried talking to people and clearly they were uninterested in me. I’m just some social outcast, I guess.

Anyways, I have my schedule. First semester I have Math, Physical Education, Religion, and French. Let’s hope I make friends with someone who sits beside me, and if not I hope I’ll make friends in clubs. There’s a list of clubs on the school website, and I’m interested in joining the debate team, art club, starvathon, and the peer acceptance club. I wish there was a club about the environment though…. I like me some animals and plants. There’s an anime club, but I’d rather not be with those kinds of people for personal reasons. I just REALLY WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS. PLEASE GOD, I’M IN A CATHOLIC SCHOOL, I’M UNDER YOUR HOLY NAME, LET ME HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE. Oh, and good friends too who will actually hang out with me outside of school, and are also a good influence.

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40 thoughts on “Something That Has Been Bothering Me

    • I’m in the side where I honestly doubt it, but thanks. 🙂
      What also doesn’t help is that most people here are actually considered well known, so my social status is nothing compared to theirs.

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  1. I totally understand where you come from. If it wasn’t for my childhood friends that have stuck with me the whole way (well, only four of them, I mean they also moved to the same location JUST to be with me) it would’ve been a bit hard to make friends, since no out there is already there for you and everyone else has made some other groups.
    But eventually, I think you will find those people who have the same interests as you. You are an amazing person, and I bet you will find other amazing friends like you as well. 🙂 Be optimistic about it, and don’t get too worried.

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